Iban Marriage

A materialization man whitethorn unite at the age of twenty- two, if he is the only child in the family. If he has br other(a)s or sisters, he is likely to marry when he grows older. A young woman usu exclusivelyy marries at the age of eighteen. At these ages early work force and wo hands generally know how to support themselves. If a young man wants to marry he may tell his parents, so that they may choose the young lady of champion of their close relatives for him. If he wishes to marry a particular girl, he may tell them so, so that they may think about it in qualification a final decision.If they determine to their sons choice, they entrusting maneuver word regarding their intention to the girls parents. If the boys request is acceptable to the parents of the girl, then the latter may fix a day for nanya bini, when they can discuss formally the rules they will follow at the matrimony of their children. A day or two prior to nanya bini, the young mans parents will pro test their relatives about the coming espousal of their son to the girl he loves.They also request that three manpower and three women who are very closely related to them join them in shock and discussing the coming pairing with the girls parents on the nanya bini day. The nanya bini meeting between parents of the rising bride and the bridegroom may take place either during the day or at night. If it is held during the day, the young mans parents and relatives will come early to the girls room. On their arrival the men are asked to take a seat on the mats which create been break up for this purpose along the girls familys upper purport, firearm the women are invited to take a seat in the family room.At about 10 a. m. , after the visitors have been entertained with drinks, the girls father calls all the sight of the longhouse and his relatives who have arrived from other villages to gather at his lower gallery in order to hear his discussion with his visitors. After the p eople have taken their seats the parents of the bride and the bridegroom declare their friends arid relatives that they have hold that their son and their daughter should be married if the bridegrooms parents summate to the payment of adat nikah ( mating price) demanded by the brides parents as follows 1.A brides wealth of $ coulomb to $300, depending upon the family land of the bride-to-be, and lower than $100 if she is of low birth. 2. A sigi alas muda, $4. 00, to sigi rusa, $8. 00, of bunga pinang (ceremonial wedding fee), and sigi jabir, $1. 00, to sigi panding, $2. 00 again, if the bride is of low birth. 3. One medium size brass gun (bedil) for batang pinang and one bendai gong for tandan pinang if the bride and the bridegroom are of distinguished families. People of common background would not demand the batang and tandan pinang pre displaces from the bridegrooms family.If the bridegrooms parents agree to pay the jointure price, then a genealogist (tukang tusut) will reci te the brides and the bridegrooms family trees to see whether the marriage is incestuous or not. incestuous means in this connection that the couple is kin of different generations. If their coupling is incestuous to this sense then the bridal parents should inform the Penghulu (district chief) that the coming marriage ceremony of their children will be celebrated with besapat ka ai or bekalih di darat depending on the category of the incest as discussed earlier (cf, pp. 29-30).At the end of the discussion of nanya bini, the grooms parents leave a silver girdle (lampit) with the bride as a repository to bind their promise. A day is then set for the melah pinang or marriage ceremony which mustiness be held within three months. If it is an incestuous marriage, it must be held as soon as possible after the besapat ka ai or bekalih di darat ceremonies in order to avoid kudi (disaster). A few long time after this, the grooms parents will gather the people of their longhouse to inform them that their sons marriage has been agree upon in discussion with the future brides parents.The grooms father also tells them of the day agreed upon for the wedding festival. From this time onwards the grooms family starts to make cakes and accumulates the derian fees. The marriage festival (melah pinang) is held in the brides house. About one week in the first place the Melah Pinang festival is held, the grooms parents again call all the people in their longhouse to meet at their gallery as they are to send the belanja (expenses) to the brides parents. At this meeting each family in the longhouse pre directs whatever specie its members have agreed to con-tribute to finance the feast.After the grooms parents have sent their belanja for the Melah Pinang feast, the girls parents will begin to pound rice, brew jars of tuak wine, and defile the necessary bulls, pigs and drinks for the occasion. Four to five days before the ceremony, the girls parents call for a meeting of people on their house gallery. At this meeting, the girls father enquires from the heads of each family whether they have finished making preparations for the ceremony. If all preparations have been made, then the brides father will inform the people of how many neighboring longhouses he intends to invite to the feast.The people of other families in the longhouse will naturally agree to this and one man is sent to invite the guests upriver while another man is sent downriver. The two men inform the guests to come to the wedding festival early that day so that their reception can be properly performed. By this signalise the agreement to marry is considered binding on both parties, and compensation must be paid if either wishes to break the agreement. 1. If a young man makes a promise to discuss his marriage with a girls parents and fails to do so according to his promise, he is fined sigi jabir, $1. 0, and sigi panding, $2. 00, for the cost of pinang sirih superfluous by the parents of t he girl. If he refuses to pay the fine, the character is brought to the court of the Penghulu for further hearing. 2. If a bridegroom fails to marry his bride after the melah pinang day has been fixed, through no pick of the later, the former is fined sigi panding, $2. 00, and sigi alas, $4. 00, respectively, the later for the cost of wasted pinang sirih. If the bridegroom refuses to pay the fine, the case is brought to the Penghulus court for further judgment.